Mental Health Challenge Day 17- What do you wish people understood about you?
The feelings of fear, self doubt, sensitivity, and hopelessness are just a few emotions that I know I deal with on a daily basis. I know I always keep my guard up because I’m afraid of getting hurt but on the flip side I know that when my guard is down I tend to over exert myself to the point where I’m vulnerable to any and everyone. I am one big confusion and a lot of people would rather avoid me that learn how to “deal with me” (I absolutely hate that) With every emotion I show and the way I attempt to balance myself the one thing that I wish people would understand about me is that despite it all my intentions are nothing but good.
I don’t always make the best decisions but I never know that until after the fact. I may go into something with hopes that it ends well and it can totally backfire. Some times I do things that are best for me that others do not totally fare with. Now, I know you’re probably thinking “Well duh dummy, that’s life!” MY POINT EXACTLY!
From my perspective, even though these things are a normal part of life I feel like these are the things that are held against me. I am not one to judge and the things people do are their problems (until they get me involved in the mess but that’s a whole other blog right there!) I give people the benefit ignore doubt that they are putting their best foot forward until I have a reason not to. For me, it seems like I never get that benefit and that I need to be the best version of me at all times because if I’m the opposite it’s a wrap. Let’s talk about a person I referred to a few posts back… This person and I were friends until I made a decision that she did not agree with. Rather than asking me why I made the decision I made she found it necessary to call me stupid and talk about me to mutual friends knowing that I would find out. She felt she had done no wrong. Now the decision I made was based on my mental health, lack of support and the fact that I was losing my job but she did not even think to ask. I stand behind the decision I made because it was the best decision for me. When I made the decision I made it in the best interest for me and those who would be directly affected. I came admit that since then I became distant and less… Willing, I guess you could say. I stopped putting in effort when it came honour friendship and decided that if she could not see that I was just doing what was best to the point where she would be deliberately disrespectful than she was not worth the extra effort.
Nobody is the same. People are going to become doctors we think they should be lawyers, some will vote republican and others democrat. Regardless of what they decide I believe that we all have good intentions when it comes to their expectations of the end result.
“I’m just a soul whose intentions are good… Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood.”
Blessing, Not a Curse 